你养出的孩子是否爱你，取决于你对这3件事的态度
<!----><style type="text/css">html{font-size:375%}</style><link href="https://pic.app.yilongnews.com/static/publish/css/style.css?v=1605251010499" rel="stylesheet" position="1" data-qf-origin="/static/publish/css/style.css?v=1605251010499"><!-- 付费贴--> <div class="preview_article "> <!----> <p> </p><p class="qf_image big noneditable" style="position: relative;" contenteditable="false"><img src="https://pic.app.yilongnews.com/forum/20230105212421front2_0_832344_FtQEiOoctLwqInQ95AgN4yqk2rW2.jpg?watermark/1/image/aHR0cHM6Ly9waWMuYXBwLnlpbG9uZ25ld3MuY29tL2FkbWluX0ZrXzZPVWNxSkppbDBhaEdkN0FoOUR6bk9RNXEucG5n/dissolve/40/gravity/SouthEast" alt="" width="1080" height="720" data-qf-origin="forum/20230105212421front2_0_832344_FtQEiOoctLwqInQ95AgN4yqk2rW2.jpg?watermark/1/image/aHR0cHM6Ly9waWMuYXBwLnlpbG9uZ25ld3MuY29tL2FkbWluX0ZrXzZPVWNxSkppbDBhaEdkN0FoOUR6bk9RNXEucG5n/dissolve/40/gravity/SouthEast" /></p><h3>好的亲子关系，一定是双向的情感流动；父母无条件爱和信任孩子，孩子也能传递给父母最纯粹的赤子心。</h3><p style="font-weight: 400;"> </p><p></p><p style="font-weight: 400;"> </p><p style="font-weight: 400;">作家刘继荣在《坐在路边鼓掌的人》一书中，讲过几段儿子的小事：</p><p style="font-weight: 400;">小家伙3岁时，对她说：</p><p style="font-weight: 400;"> </p><p><strong>“等我长大，会给爸爸妈妈买一架飞机，你们想飞到哪里就飞到哪里去。”</strong></p><p style="font-weight: 400;"> </p><p style="font-weight: 400;">4岁时，儿子看了一本别墅的图片，又对她说：</p><p style="font-weight: 400;"> </p><p><strong>“这一栋，那一栋，将来全部都给你们买。”</strong></p><p> </p><p style="font-weight: 400;">5岁时，刘继荣大病了一场，儿子一本正经的发誓：</p><p style="font-weight: 400;"> </p><p><strong>“我将来必定要研制最好的药，让妈妈永无病痛。”</strong></p><p> </p><p style="font-weight: 400;">读着这些小故事，内心涌动着一阵阵温暖。</p><p style="font-weight: 400;"> </p><p><strong>哪个父母，不渴望养出来的孩子，如刘继荣的儿子这般，贴心孝顺，懂事暖心。</strong></p><p style="font-weight: 400;"> </p><p style="font-weight: 400;">只不过，稍微设想一下，若是我的孩子，在自理能力尚未养成的年纪，便做出这样的承诺，大概只会当成“童言无忌”，笑笑而已，或者对孩子嘲笑一番，让他小小年纪不要吹牛。</p><p style="font-weight: 400;"> </p><p style="font-weight: 400;">在孩子的童言稚语面前，刘继荣是这样做的：</p><p style="font-weight: 400;"> </p><p><strong>面对“想飞到哪，就飞到哪”，她憧憬着在万米高空，脚踏祥云；</strong></p><p> </p><p><strong>面对“想住在哪，就住在哪”，她设想着冬住海南的椰风海浪，秋住北京赏红叶、逗蝴蝶，夏住西湖看接天莲叶，春天则烟花三月下扬州。</strong></p><p class="qf_image big noneditable" contenteditable="false"><img src="https://pic.app.yilongnews.com/forum/20230105213128front2_0_832344_FtcvAFN1tTfNouG3wV59JXGu0gin.jpg?watermark/1/image/aHR0cHM6Ly9waWMuYXBwLnlpbG9uZ25ld3MuY29tL2FkbWluX0ZrXzZPVWNxSkppbDBhaEdkN0FoOUR6bk9RNXEucG5n/dissolve/40/gravity/SouthEast" alt="" width="1080" height="720" data-qf-origin="forum/20230105213128front2_0_832344_FtcvAFN1tTfNouG3wV59JXGu0gin.jpg?watermark/1/image/aHR0cHM6Ly9waWMuYXBwLnlpbG9uZ25ld3MuY29tL2FkbWluX0ZrXzZPVWNxSkppbDBhaEdkN0FoOUR6bk9RNXEucG5n/dissolve/40/gravity/SouthEast" /></p><p>至于孩子誓言的“研制好药”，她也没有视作孩童的天真，而是将儿子陪她度过病期的点滴，写成了《穿西装的斑点狗》，并且获了奖，还得到了央视的关注。</p><p> </p><p>面对突然的“出名”，孩子害羞地要求妈妈：</p><p> </p><p><strong>“不要写我了，我什么也没做，只是像我说过的那样爱你。”</strong></p><p> </p><p>作家池莉给女儿写过这样一段话：</p><p> </p><p><strong>“我对你的爱，是我生命里的每一次呼吸，每一个微笑，每一滴泪水。</strong></p><p> </p><p><strong>如果上帝允许，我只会更加爱你！”</strong></p><p> </p><p>妈妈对女儿的爱，正好与刘继荣的儿子对妈妈的爱，产生了呼应。</p><p> </p><p><strong>每一个懂爱的孩子背后，都有一个懂爱的父母；</strong></p><p> </p><p>每一段和谐的亲子关系，都少不了父母在这3个小细节上的智慧处理。</p><p class="empty_paragraph"> </p><p class="qf_image big noneditable" contenteditable="false"><img src="https://pic.app.yilongnews.com/forum/20230105213326front2_0_832344_FuD3yIRsBHB_cIKWRcs_nLXxPk9m.jpg?watermark/1/image/aHR0cHM6Ly9waWMuYXBwLnlpbG9uZ25ld3MuY29tL2FkbWluX0ZrXzZPVWNxSkppbDBhaEdkN0FoOUR6bk9RNXEucG5n/dissolve/40/gravity/SouthEast" alt="" width="1000" height="667" data-qf-origin="forum/20230105213326front2_0_832344_FuD3yIRsBHB_cIKWRcs_nLXxPk9m.jpg?watermark/1/image/aHR0cHM6Ly9waWMuYXBwLnlpbG9uZ25ld3MuY29tL2FkbWluX0ZrXzZPVWNxSkppbDBhaEdkN0FoOUR6bk9RNXEucG5n/dissolve/40/gravity/SouthEast" /></p><p> 01</p><p style="font-weight: 400;"> </p><p style="font-weight: 400;"> <strong> 用崇拜的心态，看待孩子</strong></p><p style="font-weight: 400;"> </p><p style="font-weight: 400;">《人世间》中，冯化成说过一句很有意思的话：“爱的基础，是崇拜。”</p><p style="font-weight: 400;"> </p><p style="font-weight: 400;">对于冯化成这个人的行为，不敢苟同，但是他的这句话，的确说出了爱的底层逻辑。</p><p style="font-weight: 400;"> </p><p style="font-weight: 400;">尤其是父母与孩子之间。</p><p style="font-weight: 400;"> </p><p style="font-weight: 400;"><strong>懂得崇拜与欣赏的父母，即便是孩子的淘气，也能成为父母眼里的艺术品。</strong></p><p style="font-weight: 400;"> </p><p style="font-weight: 400;">前两天，苏州的两个3岁的小可爱，得到了网友们的实名羡慕。</p><p style="font-weight: 400;"> </p><p style="font-weight: 400;">一段视频中，两个小家伙，时而用胖乎乎的小手，沾着颜料，在白白的纸上随意按下手印；</p><p style="font-weight: 400;">时而拿起沾有颜料的画笔，蹦蹦跳跳地将颜料水甩到白纸上。</p><p class="qf_image big noneditable" contenteditable="false"><img src="https://pic.app.yilongnews.com/forum/20230105213515front2_0_832344_FvZwALNFKO2iaJ36m2iMAr4mh5dC.png?watermark/1/image/aHR0cHM6Ly9waWMuYXBwLnlpbG9uZ25ld3MuY29tL2FkbWluX0ZrXzZPVWNxSkppbDBhaEdkN0FoOUR6bk9RNXEucG5n/dissolve/40/gravity/SouthEast" alt="" width="1080" height="752" data-qf-origin="forum/20230105213515front2_0_832344_FvZwALNFKO2iaJ36m2iMAr4mh5dC.png?watermark/1/image/aHR0cHM6Ly9waWMuYXBwLnlpbG9uZ25ld3MuY29tL2FkbWluX0ZrXzZPVWNxSkppbDBhaEdkN0FoOUR6bk9RNXEucG5n/dissolve/40/gravity/SouthEast" /></p><p>一位网友表示，这要是我家，估计要被我妈打残了。</p><p class="qf_image big noneditable" contenteditable="false"><img src="https://pic.app.yilongnews.com/forum/20230105213543front2_0_832344_FqwtRe1JJPxv5Ib531jtdBBpLcqa.png?watermark/1/image/aHR0cHM6Ly9waWMuYXBwLnlpbG9uZ25ld3MuY29tL2FkbWluX0ZrXzZPVWNxSkppbDBhaEdkN0FoOUR6bk9RNXEucG5n/dissolve/40/gravity/SouthEast" alt="" width="1080" height="543" data-qf-origin="forum/20230105213543front2_0_832344_FqwtRe1JJPxv5Ib531jtdBBpLcqa.png?watermark/1/image/aHR0cHM6Ly9waWMuYXBwLnlpbG9uZ25ld3MuY29tL2FkbWluX0ZrXzZPVWNxSkppbDBhaEdkN0FoOUR6bk9RNXEucG5n/dissolve/40/gravity/SouthEast" /></p><p>而孩子的爸爸，则是要么和孩子一起涂鸦，要么对孩子的“作品”进行二次加工，还原成大自然的美。</p><p class="qf_image big noneditable" contenteditable="false"><img src="https://pic.app.yilongnews.com/forum/20230105213614front2_0_832344_Fh1vClToHqAQpfrjOFvZc73Ke8tw.png?watermark/1/image/aHR0cHM6Ly9waWMuYXBwLnlpbG9uZ25ld3MuY29tL2FkbWluX0ZrXzZPVWNxSkppbDBhaEdkN0FoOUR6bk9RNXEucG5n/dissolve/40/gravity/SouthEast" alt="" width="1080" height="652" data-qf-origin="forum/20230105213614front2_0_832344_Fh1vClToHqAQpfrjOFvZc73Ke8tw.png?watermark/1/image/aHR0cHM6Ly9waWMuYXBwLnlpbG9uZ25ld3MuY29tL2FkbWluX0ZrXzZPVWNxSkppbDBhaEdkN0FoOUR6bk9RNXEucG5n/dissolve/40/gravity/SouthEast" /></p><p style="font-weight: 400;">有这样一句话：</p><p style="font-weight: 400;"> </p><p>你眼里的孩子是什么样，他们就会长成什么样。</p><p> </p><p>话多的孩子，有的父母认为，他们在思考；有的父母则认为，像叽叽喳喳的小鸟，吵得心烦；</p><p> </p><p>好动的孩子，有的父母觉得，他们在尝试；有的父母则坚信，能够安静的孩子，更可爱；</p><p> </p><p>总是把家里的东西拆得七零八落的孩子，有的父母看到了孩子的动手能力；有的父母则大骂“败家子”；</p><p> </p><p>孩子想成为一名厨师，有的父母笑着说“厨师是个很不错的选择”，有的父母则数落，真没出息，整天只想着吃。</p><p> </p><p style="font-weight: 400;">数字心理学创始人钟缮夤说：<strong>“生命的本质需求，是渴望被看见。”</strong></p><p style="font-weight: 400;"> </p><p style="font-weight: 400;">关于孩子的未来，没有人能给出准确的答案，也没有绝对优质的选择，而父母与孩子之间的关系，则在一朝一夕、一言一行之中。</p><p style="font-weight: 400;"> </p><p style="font-weight: 400;">欣赏和崇拜的心态，能够给孩子注入看见、认可的心理营养，即便是平庸的孩子，也能从中找到“我可以”、“我能行”的信心，促进亲子关系的良性循环。</p><p class="qf_image big noneditable" contenteditable="false"><img src="https://pic.app.yilongnews.com/forum/20230105213813front2_0_832344_FtQEiOoctLwqInQ95AgN4yqk2rW2.jpg?watermark/1/image/aHR0cHM6Ly9waWMuYXBwLnlpbG9uZ25ld3MuY29tL2FkbWluX0ZrXzZPVWNxSkppbDBhaEdkN0FoOUR6bk9RNXEucG5n/dissolve/40/gravity/SouthEast" alt="" width="1080" height="720" data-qf-origin="forum/20230105213813front2_0_832344_FtQEiOoctLwqInQ95AgN4yqk2rW2.jpg?watermark/1/image/aHR0cHM6Ly9waWMuYXBwLnlpbG9uZ25ld3MuY29tL2FkbWluX0ZrXzZPVWNxSkppbDBhaEdkN0FoOUR6bk9RNXEucG5n/dissolve/40/gravity/SouthEast" /></p><p> <strong> 02</strong></p><p> </p><p><strong> 让孩子感受到“被需要”</strong></p><p class="empty_paragraph"> </p><p class="qf_image big noneditable" contenteditable="false"><img 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src="https://pic.app.yilongnews.com/forum/20230105214243front2_0_832344_FvHoJb0wqnMt5ooAN-tPtUiCrMi6.jpg?watermark/1/image/aHR0cHM6Ly9waWMuYXBwLnlpbG9uZ25ld3MuY29tL2FkbWluX0ZrXzZPVWNxSkppbDBhaEdkN0FoOUR6bk9RNXEucG5n/dissolve/40/gravity/SouthEast" alt="" width="634" height="866" data-qf-origin="forum/20230105214243front2_0_832344_FvHoJb0wqnMt5ooAN-tPtUiCrMi6.jpg?watermark/1/image/aHR0cHM6Ly9waWMuYXBwLnlpbG9uZ25ld3MuY29tL2FkbWluX0ZrXzZPVWNxSkppbDBhaEdkN0FoOUR6bk9RNXEucG5n/dissolve/40/gravity/SouthEast" /></p><p> </p><p> </p> <!----></div> 父母与孩子之间的交流为什么越来越少了呢？ 小时候很爱 大了他有了他的生活圈了！
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